Thursday, October 6, 2011

I'm Not Dumb

So many days I live like I don't have a purpose. I go through the motions with no passion. Then I see someone who is totally committed to a cause and I wonder, what is it that makes me passionate? What inspires me? What cause would I give my life for?

God has placed a call on my life. He has shown me His heart for broken and lost people and His passion has become mine. The passion I saw in His eyes started a flame in my heart. God has given me a voice. He has given it to me so that I can help other people find theirs. I am called to break the chains of silence, to help people find their voices. God has been teaching me how to use the voice He has blessed me with. That's kind of been the theme of my life this past year. So many times in my life I've chosen to be silent, I've believed the lie that my words weren't valuable or worth listening to.

God gave me a word last fall through dear Papa Sam (one of the leaders of YWAM in India). He told me 3 truths about who I am. One of those truths was simply that God has not made me dumb. Confusing right? I didn't understand why God would say this at first because I've never really thought of myself as a dumb person. But....it all made sense when I looked up the definition of dumb. Here is what the dictionary says about dumb: mute, unable to speak, lacking the power of speech. Haha :) God was telling me that He has given me the ability to speak. I shouldn't live like I don't have anything to say. That is one of the truths God has given me and I have to daily choose to live like it is true.

6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." 7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say,'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever i command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. 9 Then the LORD reached our his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now I have put my words in your mouth."

Learning to Breathe

I decided to start fresh with a new blog for this new season of my life! I plan on writing about what God has been speaking to me, and hopefully it can be an encouragement to you. :)

I'm at college now, for those of you who were unaware. I'm going to Northwest University up in Kirkland, WA. I just finished up my 3rd week of classes. At this point it has been challenging, which is a good thing, and it has also been lots of fun! I have a roommate, her names is Ruth, she is 21 and more mature than most freshmen (which makes me very happy!). We get along well, though we are very different in many ways....I guess the way we figured it is, she is a lot like my older brother Preston, and I'm very similar to her younger sister Julia. So, we know how to deal with/live with each other. :)

I've been going to The City Church here in Kirkland, which is the church Judah Smith is the pastor of! I love it there but it's huge and I'm not really used to that. I've also been going to a Sunday night service here on campus, called El Camino. It's soooo good! I've really gotten a lot out of that service! This past week during the worship time I had an amazing moment of hearing God speak to me. The past couple weeks I'd been in a place of asking God why I had to suffer through certain things, it's like I was telling God it wasn't fair that I had to go through so much. That night we sang a song that talked about Jesus hanging on the cross and taking everything upon Himself. As I sang those words with my eyes closed, I saw Jesus' eyes. It's like He looked in my eyes and said, "It's all gonna be okay. Trust me, I know." In that moment I realized He knows what it's like to truly suffer. I realized how selfish I'd been to complain about the little suffering I'm going through. It was a good encouragement for me to push through and trust that God will not leave me here alone. It also helped me take my eyes off myself, and I've been able to see that I'm really not alone, there are lots of people around me that are really suffering! I think that one of the big things Satan tries to do is get us to feel sorry for ourselves. I've been working on listening to the Truth, (what God says) instead of the lies Satan tries to make me believe.

Well, I have homework to do, this was a nice break for me but I really should get back to my studying now....I hope to be writing on here quite often. I think it helps me process things.

Love,

Amber

"Because God is love, we do not discover God through our experience of love, but we discover love through our experience of God." -anonymous